It’s me. Frank, from accounting.
So I work for a pretty big company and sometimes when it comes up in conversation people like to ask me, Hey, do you know so and so? Or they say something like, Oh my friend does that too! Really? Tell me about how we must have so much in common.
First of all, odds are that I’ve never even heard of this person
because I’m anti social and secondly, I appreciate your effort to create small talk but, for real, I told you before that I’m anti social and I don’t need more man friends in my life the odds are that I’ll never even run into that person either. Ever.
It’s sometimes hard for people to wrap their head around the fact that it sometimes takes a lot of employees to run a company. Sure, I can look up your friend on the company white pages, but asking a question like that is almost like implying that I’m on casual conversation terms with the 75,000+ employees that I work with so closely with. And pardon me when you’re disappointed because the best answer I can give you is no + a shoulder shrug.
Let me put it this way. I’m going to go ahead and guess that there are probably 5,000 people with the title Senior Financial Analyst. They’re probably split into at least 1,000 different teams in different departments with different offices and different roles. Names are bound to repeat. Titles are nice but unless you have that big honking salary to go with it then they don’t really mean that much either. Just because we share the same generic name of Analyst doesn’t mean that we do the same thing, know the same people or make the same money.
If you have 500 people in your first year psyche class then then there’s bound to be a couple of Mikes. But please, don’t freak out when you find out that they are not actually all twins. Also, please stop trying to nod or wave at me just because you drive a Honda Civic too. It’s hard to tell if you’re disappointed when I don’t nod back because I’ve already looked away and ignored you.
Anyway, I’ve been un/fortunate enough to have worked in a bunch of different places and different sized companies before the one that I’m currently at. I know what it’s like to work in an office with a hand full of people day to day, but also what it’s like being a number in a cubicle farm. This is why I rarely ever ask
lame questions like that unless I’m fairly certain that you will actually be able to give me some sort of answer.
Is it Friday yet? Almost…